For some people, living a single life is amazing and fulfilling. Still, others need to be with someone. Sometimes their need for connection is so strong that they’re willing to stay in a bad relationship because they’re afraid to be alone.
They don’t see that being alone is so much better than being in a failing relationship.
1. You find yourself wondering if you could do better.
We all want to be with the best possible person for us, but do you find yourself comparing other people to your significant other? Do you find that your partner pales in comparison? And do you constantly think that other people are much smarter, funnier, and more interesting?
Researchers call these perceptions of other potential partners your quality of alternatives. Psychologists can measure the perceived quality of alternatives by analyzing answers to such statements as “If I weren’t dating my partner, I would do fine. I’d find another appealing person to go out with.”
If you agree with this kind of statement, you have a ton of high-quality alternatives. This shows that you have confidence in yourself and are able to attract a good partner. However, if you always think about other people, this can undermine your current relationship’s strength.
The goal is to be with someone who’s so fantastic that you don’t even notice anybody better. When you’re with someone who you believe is the best for you, you’ll know.
2. Your partner doesn’t help you become a better person.
When we’re in good relationships, we’re happier, live longer, and have less stress, fewer mental health problems, and less pain. Also, when we’re with good people, they help us become better.
Researchers refer to this experience as self-expansion. Your relationship should provide you with this type of self-growth. When your partner supports you, then you feel more comfortable taking bigger chances and achieving larger goals.
The more you can grow, the better your relationship is. If your partner can’t help you build a better you, then you need a better partner.
3. The people around you don’t think your relationship is going to last.
Researchers at Waterloo University asked people in romantic relationships to predict their relationship’s future and compared their predictions to those that their friends and family made. The daters thought that their relationships would last two to three times longer than their friends and families thought they would.
Also, the people in relationships saw their relationships as much better than others viewed them from the outside. It turns out that family and friends have unique insights into our relationships. They’re looking out for us and are better able to see a relationship clearly and objectively.
When in doubt, ask someone you trust how they see your relationship. They may be able to see problems that you simply refuse to see. It’s much better to be single than to be in a relationship that doesn’t excite and inspire you!
If you’re wondering how science can help you decide whether or not you’re with the right person, then think over these three things. If your partner falls short, it may be time to look for someone else instead.